Let's shoot the bull.

It’s late and I’m feeling all

clouded and heavy-headed. This means I will do a random, inarticulate vent…again. I really like the word inarticulate. If anything, just read the bolded.

School just started last week and it feels like I’m a senior in high school all over again. Filling out applications, writing essays where I have to awkwardly channel into my inner-self in a professional but not TOO professional way, buying transcripts from both schools, sending out everything on time. Just finished one of the school’s supplement and boy, what a relief! Now, I have privates to work on.

My classes this semester are a mixture of super laid-back Managerial Accounting to the intensive second series of Calculus. The class content never really takes its toll on me. It’s more of the constantness of everything. Wake up, get dressed, get everything together, drive to class, drive to next class, drive home for 8 minutes to change for work, drive to work, drive home, eat like crazy, study like crazy, shower and fall asleep. There’s no downtime and that’s the part that I really hate about school.

Work has been awesome. Well, it has been up until today. Today, I was at work and had this really alarming thought. Alarming in the sense that I’ve loved this new job and for the first time, I actually thought about quitting. I am 19 years old and I feel like my life is dictated by a calendar filled with work and school. What the hell am I doing wasting my time working a job people have at say…35? Don’t get me wrong, I love this job. The responsibility, the people, the officialness of my business cards and badge…hell, I even like refilling our coffee bar (yes we, Fremont Bank, have a coffee bar :) but I feel like I want to be out playing like a kid again. I realized that I’m still a child and maybe I’m tainting my youth with all this responsibility.

I had a bit of a… an academic breakdown the other day. I hate letting something like school stress me out, but I felt like I was out of thoughts and out of resources. The one person I really wanted to help me with this application refused to. Please, spare me a moment to be selfish, but could you not see past your personal and might I add immature objections to give me half an hour of your time? That sounds really bad now that I reread it but I don’t care. I was there for you, defended you, helped you through your process, and now, you wouldn’t look my way. It’s a damn shame. 

That is all. To end on a happier note, I hope everyone enjoyed their first week of school or did well on their midterms! PS, pulled out four of my wisdom teeth on Friday. Haha, more sucky news. Til next time!